Little Life Changing Moments

Once again I had an amazing week here in Romania. I'm loving my little group of kids and wish I could show you pictures and tell you more about them! Aside from my little babies I'm learning so much about myself, the world, and yes even God. Here are just a few highlights from the past week.

One of my favorite moments in the orphanage thus far was also a very sad moment for me. One of my older children (let's call her little T) was originally very cautious of me. She wouldn't approach me even if we were playing a group game. Until friday. Many of the children had already been put down for a nap I only had about four kids left in my room. Little T came and began tugging on my scrubs willing me to pick her up. Normally the workers discourage me picking up the older kids that can walk, however this time I just couldn't say no to those eyes. I scooped her up and held her close. We sat down on the couch and she adjusted my arms so I was cradling her like a baby. I didn't think this would last long but she got very calm, closed her eyes, and began to fall asleep. While holding this tiny child I realized how rare an event this is for her, to be cuddled while she sleeps. I admit I began to cry as I thought about my own mother. I don't care how old I am, or how old I get-I will always cuddle up next to my mom. The idea of growing up without a hug goodnight, or soothing hand when sick was such a depressing thought.

But how blessed am I that I have the opportunity to hold little T and love her for the next three months! She's old enough now that I hope she does always remember me, and that I do love her.

While in Moldova this weekend we got to visit the city of  Chişinău. It reminded me a lot of Iaşi- but with more of an obvious communist history behind it. We stayed in a wonderful hostel and made some new friends, spent the day walking around the city, seeing various sights, gypsy markets, and walking around two of the town cathedrals. Both have an indescribable beauty as they stand brilliantly among the disorderly city. Upon stepping inside; the first thing I notice is the color gold, the beautiful craftsmanship, art, and the lack of light. The lights are made dim to make the candles appear as the main source of light. Each one lit is a prayer. It's strange how much these cathedrals tought me about my own beliefs. Being inside was amazing, although it also brought a lot of grief from within myself. Looking at the pictures of Christ in the dark chapel made me feel guilty that Christ died for my sins, rather than thankful for my savior and the sacrifice he did make for me. I felt more fear, where I should have felt love. In his life I don't believe Christ ever did gain followers through fear, he gained loyalty through showing love.

The color of gold was the thing that stood out to me most. I realized while walking around the second cathedral how mundane this seemed to me. Gold in my opinion is very earthly, dirty, and makes us selfish. A endless symbol of wealth. We spend our entire lives searching after this thing that cannot come with us to the next life. I never realized until then just how pure white truly is. If any marks were ever to be made it would be quite obvious on a pure surface. I can see now why God would choose to have cleaner, less distracting house for his children to worship in. 

How well god knows me, he knows how to teach me. It has to take place half way across the world, in a church that is not his own. Yet I have become stronger because of this experience... And I have a lot more cathedrals to see, so much more to learn.

The Cathedral of Christ's Nativity

The Triumphal arch

Moldovan police car (for dad)

Cathedral

Infinite Blessings

If service in Iasi has taught me one thing it's that there are blessings in all things. Always a reason to smile, always a reason to be grateful, and God's hand is in our lives. Always. These children have so little. They don't have families, many don't have the use of their bodies, and most all have disorders in some form. Yet, they are smiling. No matter how hard life gets there is never a reason not to be grateful! Walking into St. Andrews orphanage I was honestly scared. What if I can't handle this? What if I can't help the kids? My answer came quickly, it's not me that is handling this. It's them, and I am here to help them with their burdens in whatever small way I can. How could I not help them when all I have to do is love them?! Loving them, playing, and trying to understand them on a deeper level comes naturally. I love them with all my soul, and pray that I can help them with more.

Walking into the orphanage is not depressing, or to be feared. God is with those kids in a way I cannot describe. In one room MM2, is full of the sickest children; they are bed ridden, many are blind and/or deaf, and cannot talk. Upon entering this room I asked God, why? What is the purpose of these children's suffering? As soon as I sat next to the first child's crib I knew. They are so close to god, they are here not to endure trials like the rest of us, but to teach the rest of us. They love attention! Although I cannot speak Romanian I know they understand me. I believe the reason they can't talk to me is because they would tell me too much, they are so close to god!

The one room that stuck out to me most was Bambi 2. This room is full of the most adorable toddlers you'll ever see in your life! Luckily this is the room that I got! Some of the kids in my room can talk, they call me Floare which is Romanian for flower because Heather doesn't translate and nobody could remember my name. It's the cutest thing I have ever seen when these kids are calling me from across the room. 

I know with no room for doubt that this is where I am supposed to be. I have already learned so much, and not just from the children. Being in the culture has begun to stretch my mind. Life here is very different. The people don't have much and they are okay with this. I am grateful that we do have warm water (well about five minutes), I have a small mattress on the floor, an apartment to live in, and amazing flat mates! The natives are content and unselfish, above all god is a priority. No matter that the streets are dirty, and buildings are literally falling apart; every church is exceedingly beautiful, clean, and upkept. You make time and care for the important things in life, Romania is a prime example of this theory.

I am exceedingly grateful for the six other girls here with me. In only a week I have learned so much from them. I have amazing conversations with Madelaine, and Eva, often about the lessons we each learn everyday. The topic of Christ seems to make its way into every conversation, perhaps this is my greatest lesson thus far. God is in our lives, he cares, and we truly should be looking for him in all things. I have come to the conclusion recently that if we are constantly looking for reasons to be grateful this is where we find joy, as well as seeing our blessings.