Little Life Changing Moments

Once again I had an amazing week here in Romania. I'm loving my little group of kids and wish I could show you pictures and tell you more about them! Aside from my little babies I'm learning so much about myself, the world, and yes even God. Here are just a few highlights from the past week.

One of my favorite moments in the orphanage thus far was also a very sad moment for me. One of my older children (let's call her little T) was originally very cautious of me. She wouldn't approach me even if we were playing a group game. Until friday. Many of the children had already been put down for a nap I only had about four kids left in my room. Little T came and began tugging on my scrubs willing me to pick her up. Normally the workers discourage me picking up the older kids that can walk, however this time I just couldn't say no to those eyes. I scooped her up and held her close. We sat down on the couch and she adjusted my arms so I was cradling her like a baby. I didn't think this would last long but she got very calm, closed her eyes, and began to fall asleep. While holding this tiny child I realized how rare an event this is for her, to be cuddled while she sleeps. I admit I began to cry as I thought about my own mother. I don't care how old I am, or how old I get-I will always cuddle up next to my mom. The idea of growing up without a hug goodnight, or soothing hand when sick was such a depressing thought.

But how blessed am I that I have the opportunity to hold little T and love her for the next three months! She's old enough now that I hope she does always remember me, and that I do love her.

While in Moldova this weekend we got to visit the city of  Chişinău. It reminded me a lot of Iaşi- but with more of an obvious communist history behind it. We stayed in a wonderful hostel and made some new friends, spent the day walking around the city, seeing various sights, gypsy markets, and walking around two of the town cathedrals. Both have an indescribable beauty as they stand brilliantly among the disorderly city. Upon stepping inside; the first thing I notice is the color gold, the beautiful craftsmanship, art, and the lack of light. The lights are made dim to make the candles appear as the main source of light. Each one lit is a prayer. It's strange how much these cathedrals tought me about my own beliefs. Being inside was amazing, although it also brought a lot of grief from within myself. Looking at the pictures of Christ in the dark chapel made me feel guilty that Christ died for my sins, rather than thankful for my savior and the sacrifice he did make for me. I felt more fear, where I should have felt love. In his life I don't believe Christ ever did gain followers through fear, he gained loyalty through showing love.

The color of gold was the thing that stood out to me most. I realized while walking around the second cathedral how mundane this seemed to me. Gold in my opinion is very earthly, dirty, and makes us selfish. A endless symbol of wealth. We spend our entire lives searching after this thing that cannot come with us to the next life. I never realized until then just how pure white truly is. If any marks were ever to be made it would be quite obvious on a pure surface. I can see now why God would choose to have cleaner, less distracting house for his children to worship in. 

How well god knows me, he knows how to teach me. It has to take place half way across the world, in a church that is not his own. Yet I have become stronger because of this experience... And I have a lot more cathedrals to see, so much more to learn.

The Cathedral of Christ's Nativity

The Triumphal arch

Moldovan police car (for dad)

Cathedral